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User blog:Charlie the Penguin/science.doc
I now present to you an episode that took way too long to make and probably wasn't worth the wait at all. ---- Charlie: *wakes up* Ugh... what happened? Charlie realizes that he's tied up in a chair with hastily wrapped duct tape. He tries to break through it to no avail. He deducts that he’s in the same place he fell into, although all the pillows have been removed. Charlie: Um... hello...? A weird, stereotypical circus-like song begins to play. Voice of Victoria: That’s the wrong track! Voice of a pookie: Sowwy. '' Dramatic intense music begins playing.'' Victoria: *suddenly appears out of seemingly nowhere from behind Charlie* Why hello there! Charlie: Gah! Who are you and what am I doing here?! Victoria: Geez, someone is tense. *lightly massages Charlie’s shoulders* Charlie: *squirms in his seat* And why am I all tied up? Victoria: *stops* Well, here’s the thing. You’re sort of a threat to my business, so I’ll need to keep you here so I can keep an eye on you. Charlie: Business? I don’t recall interacting with any businesses lately… Victoria: *walks around to face him* Well that’s because you haven’t! My name's Victoria. I’ve been keeping an eye on you, and I like you. However, you’re in my way. You and your little friends. Charlie: Okay… so how come you only captured me? Victoria: *walks over to the wall and begins typing in a control panel* I like to go one at a time. Easier to pay attention, harder to make mistakes. If there’s anything Daddy taught me it’s that mistakes are for duds. Our teleportation technology is down at the moment, so I sent a friend of mine The platform they’re standing on begins to move upwards, revealing it to be an elevator that can move up and down using the long pole in the center of it. Charlie: Um, would you mind explaining to me what’s happening here, because I’m lost. Victoria: So many questions… *walks back over to Charlie* Well, I haven’t really had a captive audience to tell my plans to yet, and I do love to put on a good performance… very well then. *types into control panel* Let’s change up our route a bit. Charlie: So… what is this place anyway? Victoria: I thought you’d never ask! We are currently in the underground headquarters of Rekab Industries. This is where all the magic happens. *presses button, causing a screen to pop out of the wall* The elevator’s television shows a slideshow of pictures that illustrate what the narrator is talking about. Narrator: Have you ever wondered where food comes from? No, really. You don’t really think that the Pizza Parlor makes its own pizza, do you? Don’t worry, I don’t blame you. You probably think that they make it all themselves. Think again- the pizzas made on the Pizzatron are just training exercises, none of those pizzas are actually used. I mean seriously, would you really want to eat one of those things? Oh, and what about Fluffy fish? You thought that those things come from the water? No way, far too unsanitary. Don’t ask me why people like fishing those things in the Ski Village… *is suddenly revealed on the screen to be My name is Eli Rekab, and I’m the founder of Rekab Industries. What I am about to tell you is something for your ears only. You are prohibited from mentioning this to anyone, unless you’re one of those weird couples that have to tell each other everything, in which case I will find out and put an end to more than your blabber-mouthing. On a lighter note, if you have been hired then you are definitely someone I trust. Remember that now. *walks over to stand beside a younger-Victoria* Together with my lovely assistant and daughter Victoria Rekab, we have recruited the best of the best- the elitist of the elite, th-'' *boom* ''Video cuts off Charlie: Woah, what happened?! Victoria: Someone thought it’d be a good idea to play Angry Birds with my dad’s fire charge launcher. Charlie: Well, you were both okay, right? Victoria: I was. Daddy always made me wear flame-proof clothes because he was so overprotective of me. If only he had been overprotective of himself as well... Charlie: Oh… I’m sorry... Victoria: I could imagine. Charlie: Huh? Victoria: Especially since it was YOUR PUFFLE who did it!!!! *presses button on remote, showing a different angle that shows Wingman pressing the button on the fire charge launcher* Charlie: WHAT?! Victoria: *busts out laughing* You thought any of that was real? I added the explosion with an app on my phone! *continues laughing* You are as gullible as… Charlie: Look, I’m sorry for being pushy, I really am, but could you please just cut to the chase? I’m not sure if you realize this, but this is kind of a lot to take in. I’m pretty sure neither me or the readers understand what’s happening right now! *thanks rsnail that Locy doesn't know where he is to hit him with a frying pan* Victoria: Sheesh, you’re not as fun as I thought you’d be. The elevator slows to a stop at the top floor and Victoria drags Charlie’s chair out. Charlie: Hey, wait a minute, how did you even know what my puffle looks like anywa- woah…! Charlie looks around to see that they are surrounded completely by various machines seemingly performing various tests. Victoria: Daddy used this facility to test new ways to mass-produce stuff. You may think that having a dad who has the power to basically do everything he wants would be pretty awesome, but let me tell you first hand. *turns back to Charlie and forcefully grabs him by his shoulders* It’s not. Charlie: …I'm assuming you’re going to tell me why that I- Victoria: He never did ANYTHING for anyone but himself! Nope, he was far too busy “changing the world” and whatnot. He was never there for anyone. He didn’t even show up for my graduation!! Charlie: Wait, you actually went to SCHOOL?! Th- Victoria: Shut up. You want me to cut to the chase? Well fine then. A robotic claw-like arm reaches over and drops an old-fashioned radio into Charlie’s lap. Charlie: Ow! Victoria: *looks up* I told you to hand it to ME, dangit! Voice of a pookie: Sowwy. Victoria: *rubs her forehead and sighs* '' On the back of the radio is a hastily-attached red button labeled “Press to escape reality”.'' Charlie: Ooh, cool! Victoria: Hey! *snatches the radio away from him before he can press it* This high-tech piece of machinery is untested and there is an extremely high chance of it emitting a deadly gas that will paralyze every part of you from the waist up! Charlie: ...You don’t know the first thing about machinery, do you? Victoria: Well, I… uh… to be fair, it’s not really like I need to, anyway. Most machines here are self-controlled and all I have to do is tell them what to make! I’ll admit that I made the gas part up, but you never know with these things! Charlie: So what exactly is that button supposed to do? Victoria: I was getting to that. Victoria presses a button on a nearby control panel, causing the wall in front of them to split apart, revealing an entrance to a large room in which an enormous satellite sits, being worked on by several pookies. Victoria: This was Daddy’s final project. He planned to use it in order to give everyone’s phones better reception. Charlie: And why did he never finish it…? Victoria: Just because I was messing with you back there doesn’t mean he isn’t actually dead. I won’t go into too much detail, but let’s just say there was a little accident, and he fell from a very high catwalk. However, I’m sure whoever pushed him had a very good reason. Charlie: ...You’re sick, do you know that? Victoria: Like I need your approval. You’re such a downer that you’ll probably like this next part even less. *drags Charlie’s chair over to the glass-encased observation area of one of the facility’s testing chambers where a blue puffle is seen sleeping in a color-coordinated puffle bed in its center* Charlie: ...It’s just a puffle. Victoria: *giggles* I know! :D Charlie makes a face and slowly begins to scoot away. Without taking her eyes off of the chamber, Victoria reaches to the side and holds Charlie back. She presses another button on the wall’s control panel, causing a tube to pop out from the ceiling. She holds up the radio and lets the tube suck it in, transporting it into the chamber. It lands right next to the puffle, waking it up. Victoria: *nudges Charlie’s flipper* I taped an o’berry to the activation button. *snickers* In the chamber, the puffle discovers eats the o’berry off of the button, simultaneously activating the radio. After a few seconds, her eyes grow wide and her pupils become tiny pinpricks. Charlie: Woah, what’s happening to it?! Victoria: Wonder how Daddy became a billionaire? He was a therapist first. The reason he was so successful was that he secretly knew how to hypnotize people. He made about a dozen recordings that put whoever listens to them in a trance. Watch what this one does. The puffle’s eyes return to normal, indicating that the recording has ended. Suddenly, she looks down to realize that she is floating. Charlie: What the… Victoria: And that’s just the beginning! *presses another button, releasing an army of miniature Destructobot-like robots into the chamber* Charlie: What are you doing?! Victoria: Oh, re-''lax''. Just watch. The robots begin shooting at the puffle, which the it skillfully manages to dodge while still remaining airborne. Suddenly, her eyes turn a bright green color, and the center of her pupils shoot two fiery red lasers at the robots, causing several to explode. Charlie: WOAH! Victoria: And that’s not all! To take out the remaining robots, the puffle concentrates real hard, releasing a shockwave out of its body that sends the remaining robots flying into of the walls of the chamber and subsequently deactivating. Charlie: Impressive… So, this is your “business”? Victoria: Yes, but on a much greater scale than you may think. You see, some effects take a little longer to kick in than others. Charlie: What... other effects...? Victoria presses another button on the control panel, causing a cage to pop out of the ceiling. In it are a bunch of floating puffles of every color. They all have red eyes that glare disapprovingly at the sight of Charlie. Charlie: What... what did you do to them?! Victoria: The same thing I just did to that other puffle. Eventually, it'll become one of these too. Charlie: *disturbed* That's sick, Victoria... what could you possibly gain from this? Those things look like they want to destroy us! Victoria: *reaches into cage and scratches a black puffle's head, causing it to purr* Oh, don't worry, these things don't want to destroy me. They're hypnotised to follow my every command. You, on the other hand... All of the puffles suddenly turn to Charlie and try to break out of their cage, growling and snarling. Charlie cringes and tries to scoot back. Victoria: *laughs* Re-''lax''. The super strength doesn't kick in for 24 hours, and they've only been hypnotized for two. As for their purpose, they've only been my test subjects. Disposable. *presses another button, causing the cage to retract into the ceiling* Charlie: How many buttons do you have on that thing, anyway? Victoria: With this technology, imagine the potential of these powers applied to one of us! Now that I know this stuff is safe, I can turn these pookies into an unstoppable army of my super-powered minions! Alexis: *waddles by* Mumu, wat’s a men-yen? Victoria: Um… it means that you... uh, it means that everything at the toy store is free to you for life! Alexis: Oh, way!! :D *runs off to tell the others* Charlie: That’s pretty messed up you know, lying to small children. Victoria: What, you thought I was lying? They’ll all have super powers. They can take anything they want from anywhere. Charlie: I see… wait a minute, I just realized, why aren’t you giving powers to yourself, wouldn’t that be easie- *slaps self in the face* What am I saying?! Victoria: *laughs* Don’t worry, I couldn’t it I wanted to. For some reason, this hypnotism has a certain maturity level. It only works on things that have been living for less than five years. The claw from earlier returns and drops the radio back into Victoria’s flippers. Victoria: Watch. *points radio at self and presses button, to no effect* Charlie: *takes off earmuffs* Oh… Victoria: Yeah, once you get old enough and become aware of what it’s trying to do, it has no effect on you anymore. But I’ve found another power supply. On another screen behind them, a picture pops up of the ginormous pile of snow that the sunken Ninja Hideout sits in. Victoria: Look familiar? Charlie: Uh, yeah, I see it every day whenever I look at the map! Victoria: Don’t play coy with me, Charlie, I know that’s the Ninja Hideout and I know you and your stupid friends have turned it into your little playhouse. That’s why you’re in my way. Daddy was interested in it too, so way back in November he sent scavengers to go and check it out. In it they found an ancient tablet that possessed undiscovered powers of Card-Jitzu that that old fart Sensei guy was keeping secret to the public for whatever reason. They told us by video feed, but never returned to the facility. Got caught in a poorly-timed avalanche. Charlie: I remember a time pre-Card-Jitzu Saga that I would assume that Club Penguin would never go there… Victoria: He decided that the mountain was too dangerous and paid a dragon that had the power survive for months without fresh oxygen to guard it. Charlie: Scorn II…? Victoria: I don’t know how you managed to get rid of him, but I don’t really care either. I just need you and your friends out of there. *checks off list on notepad* One down, two to go. Charlie: Plus all of our puffles. Combined we have more than a hundred. Also we have Rookie moving in with us in a few weeks. Victoria: *forcefully scribbles over list and throws the notepad over her shoulder* I’ll figure out something. *calls out* Alright, take him away! A nearby Tube Transport spits out eight pookies who grab Charlie’s chair and begin to slowly drag him into the next room. Charlie: Uh, where are they taking me?! Victoria: To your cell. That’s where I was taking you before you made me have to give you this whole elaboration speech. You have fun. *chuck;es and waves before beginning to waddle away* Charlie: Wait! I have one more question! Victoria: *turns around, still smirking* What? Charlie: How did you manage to get me here anyway? I never came anywhere near this place. Come to think of it, I don’t even know where this place is! Victoria: I intercepted your friend’s little teleportation portal to pull you through. Charlie: … Victoria: What, you thought Daddy had all this money and didn’t think about installing an old-fashioned teleportation system? Give me a break. Charlie: Grr... *tries to freeze off the duct tape* Victoria: Oh, I did I forget to mention? We drained your powers while you were knocked out. Charlie: You did what?! Victoria: But I wouldn't worry... *forms a snowball in her flippers* They'll be in good hands. *steps into tube transport and shoots upward, but not before nailing Charlie in the face with a snowball* Charlie: *still in shock, looks back at the pookies who are struggling pathetically to drag him along the floor* How long is this going to take? Pookie: I dunno. The entire room suddenly slants to the side, causing Charlie’s chair to move faster than the pookies, who all trip and fall on their stomachs. Charlie: Woooaahh! *crashes into the wall* Back at the Ninja Hideout, everything seems to be slanting there as well. Gracie: Gah! Wingman: *is floating in midair, unaffected by the tilting* Hm? *takes off headphones* What did you say? Kris: *grabs onto a newly-installed windowsill and manages to peek outside* There’s a bunch of anvils down by the beach again! Wingman: *flies over* Is it another Underwater Expedition? Kris: What the, now the Migrator is sitting on a huge mountain of popcorn! The popcorn mountain suddenly spills onto the island, completely destroying the West side of it. Gracie: It's the apocalypse! Wingman: Oh no, what do we do?! Charlie's probably still out there somewhere! Kris: I tried calling him earlier, but I just got his voicemail! *holds up spyphone* Charlie’s Voicemail: Hello there! If you are someone I like, then I’m probably too busy taking a dump to answer the phone and I’ll have to call you back. If you’re someone I hate, then I’m sorry to inform you that I died twenty years ago. Bye! Wait, um… hey, Wingman, why is there no button to stop recordi- *click* Tablet: Woah woah woah! *falls into Gracie’s flippers* Gah, I did warn you! Gracie: Oh no, what now?! Tablet: There’s only one way to stop this. Forgive me for what I’m about to do, this may tingle a bit… *suddenly lets out a light green surge of energy that engulfs Mystery Mountain whole* Rookie: *is throwing more logs onto the burning school when he hears the explosion* GAH! *looks up at the mountain* Oh no... *runs towards it* We pan upwards to see much of Club Penguin engulfed in flames and destroyed. Panicked penguins run around yelling, narrowly avoiding falling debris to make sure the game keeps a G rating. A nearby plane takes off from what seems to be the Plaza and soars off into the distance as the sky begins to turn a dark red. To be continued... Okay, yes, I know, this took forever to make. I blame writers block for it. I mean, yes, it's still sort of my fault, but, um... meh... Also, I'm changing up the comment requirement a bit. Instead of getting episodes done faster (in case you haven't figured out that you can't trust me with anything), meeting the comment requirement will make sure that the series will go on after the end of each season. Can you believe that the series is almost half-over already?! And I promise, I will do my best to make sure that this next episode doesn't take as long to make. Category:Blog posts